lost job, had trip booked to prague though and damned if i was going to give that up. so took a trip instead, down to two months work left before having to go home. most likely going back to england wednesday morning, though no idea where i'm headed to or what will work out. quite frankly a little bit scared.
doesn't help that i feel so incredibly comfortable, content, happy, at home, and loveded here in prague. would much rather stay out here and find work to just get by, if i didn't have to worry about paying off debts that already exist.
logical side says more money to be earned in england, easier to find work, speaking the language, better for building character. illogical side says fun, friends (including one more-valuable-than-friend friend), beautiful city, lifestyle i'm already used to and comfortable with, more things to do, all of them more affordable. but then logical side points out that it'd only be a month before seeing more-than-friend again, and only two months in england before new years in prague. and even illogical side starts to concede that maybe that's better. and logical side mentions slyly that really, if more-than-friend and i want things to work out, it really probably is most healthy to still keep the pretend-distance a little longer, that we both know we're ready for this. particularly seeing as we're both still keeping this a secret from most everyone still even though i think everyone here's guessed already. (we have our reasons, though, and they're sensible ones..)
but illogical side still wants to stay here, learn, see films, see bands i won't get to see otherwise, spend crazy nights out with crazy people, spend days acting like i'm 6 years old, sing the budwar bar song with the only other person who really understands it, have someone to cuddle up to at night, have an awesome flatmate (on top of the rockin roommate) with amazingly talented siblings, stay in a country where people don't bother trying to act nice when they honestly don't care about you in the least, and just enjoy general prague-ness.
but you can't have everything, can you. posted by me | 5:07 PM
soft and striped 
Saturday, October 25, 2003